Food of the Gods
By Shawn Kimbro
Photos by Curt Seals
What with being experienced hikers and all,
Curt and I are often asked for suggestions on trail food. Trail friends
often say to us, "Curt, Shawn, what is the perfect trail food?" After years
of study and very careful research, we've come up with two answers. For
distance hiking, the perfect food is ramen. All you need for ramen is a
heat source and a little water (about as much as you can squeeze out of
a wet sock). But what is the perfect food for those quick overnighters,
or weekend fishing trips? Friends, there is only one item on the food pyramid
fit for year-round consumption in any situation.......
Correctly pronounced "vi-een-ee," these tiny torpedos could only have been sent from heaven. I can't tell you how often Curt and I have found ourselves wandering in the wilderness, starving and praying for help from above, only to discover a dented can of manna-meat in a little-used backpack pocket. Many's the time we've come around a tight bend in a lonesome trail to find some poor soul scouring in starvation for piss-ants or earthworms. How their eyes light up when Curt pulls a little round can from his front trouser pocket (another most frequently asked trail question is, "Are you glad to see me, or is that a can of vienna sausage in your pocket?"). Yes, vienna sausages are the food of the gods. Here are a few of our favorite recipes......
Vieenys and beer:
Directions: Slightly heat vieeny can. Pour off or drink excess juice. Dig out first sausage with knife, stick, or finger. Serve with cold beer.
Vieenys on a stick:
Place Vieenys on a stick. Hold over fire until warm.
(Note: Because of the complexity of this recipe, detailed illustrations are provided.)
Remove all flamable material from immediate area.
Place on ground, light fuse, get away.
Rotate slowly over smoke bomb.
Smoke throughly until done.
VIENNA SAUSAGE WITH RICE (A dish for the ladies' club)
2 cans vienna Sausage
1 cup coarse bread crumbs or cornflakes
2 cups fluffy cooked rice
1 cup canned tomatoes
1 small green pepper, sieved
1 small onion, diced
6 ripe olives, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
Leave Vienna Sausage whole or cut in half as desired.
Combine remaining ingredients; mix lightly. Turn 1/2 rice mixture into
greased casserole; spread sausages on rice. Add rice to fill casserole;
top with remaining sausages and dot with butter. Bake in moderate oven
(350° F.) 25 minutes. Makes 4-6 servings.
Vieenys and Marshmallows:
Alternate vieenys and marshmallows on stick.
over open fire until done.
Ingredient List: Mechanically separated chicken, pork, water, salt, corn syrup, hydrolyzed soy and potato protein, dextrose, hydrolyzed casein and whey protein, flavoring, sodium erythorbate, sodium nitrate.
Nutrition Facts: Serving size 1 can - Total fat 30g, Cholest. 90mg, Sodium 840mg, Calories 320.
Production Process: The primary raw ingredients in Vienna Sausage are pork, beef and chicken. The ingredients are pre-ground into large chunks, and then all the meats are blended together and analyzed for fat content. Once the proper fat content has been established, the spices and the water are added and mixed thoroughly. This mixture is then emulsified to a pancake-type batter and stuffed into a casing. The casing serves as a mold to shape the wiener while it is being cooked. In the smokehouse, the outside edge of the wiener has a pliable skin formed by the cooking.
Once the product is chilled, the casing is removed and conveyed to the Vienna Sausage packing machine. Seven strands of wieners 10 meters long are placed in the cup of the Marten Vienna packer. The seven strands represent twelve cans of Vienna Sausage. The strands are cut into proper lengths and then stuffed into the can. Each can is inspected for quality before the broth is added and the lid applied.
Once the chilled can leaves the closing machine (it is
checked immediately!) for vacuum, returned to a shelf- stable state, checked
again for vacuum, labeled, and packed into a carton.
INSCA - International Natural Sausage Casing Association (Viennas don't have natural casings, and these folks want to change that.)
Vienna Sausage Labels - Libby's, Hormel, Armour, they're all here!
Vienna Sausage Hat - "#37 Fleece body with contrasting sausages"
Armour Star Canned Meats - Here's the financial report for those interested in investing.
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